August 11, 2012 § Leave a comment
The post made me realize that time indeed moves fast. I feel like moments are just passing me by and I can’t do anything to stop it. I feel like I’m just watching my life unfold in front of me and worse… I just sit there and watch.
There are times when I just want to shout, “Waaaaaait. I want to enjoy my youth!” But then I guess it’s too late for that.
I’m just seventeen. I’m young. I can still do whatever I want, right? Time may be limited but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do what I want to do even if I’m too old to do it (that was confusing).
That very nature of time should even alert me to live life to the fullest. There’s a reason why a lot of influential writers stress that out – life is too short. Live fully.
After all, who says we are not young enough to do what we like to do? Fcuk it. I say let’s do what we gotta do and not give a single fak about what others think. 🙂 — that was completely unrelated to what I’m writing right now but who cares. This is my blog. HAHA.
August 10, 2012 § Leave a comment
“Here you were feeling all lonely and then someone reaches out to you but you don’t want to do it.
You’re crazy. You’re lonely. You’re non-commital.
Just like everyone else your age.”
July 1, 2012 § Leave a comment
This was my post back in 2012. Nothing has changed, I see.
Wow. It’s been a while since I last posted here.
I guess it’s because I’ve been doing so many things that I hardly find the time to breathe and think even just for a second! I have this weird obsession of trying to take too many responsibilities just to prove myself to everyone.
Not only that, I want to explore all my options. I’m still searching for something–I don’t know what yet–and I’m not gonna stop until I find what “it” is! After all, I’m just a 17-year-old girl, and I guess I’m still trying to find my identity.
I really need to work on that but the problem is I don’t know how. It’s just hard to let go of some things especially when I’ve grown to love what I do. Sure, I can balance all these things, but admittedly, I have my limits too. There are times when I feel burnt out, but I just bury the feeling deep down because I’m afraid it might affect the efficiency of the work I produce.
June 10, 2012 § 2 Comments
I’ve always wanted to buy comic books. It may strike some as strange since I don’t seem like the type of girl who reads comic books instead of girly “mags”, but for some reason, I really want to.
Whenever I go to Fully Booked, I always see to it that I visit this certain section where comic books are (maybe it’s called the “comic books section” damn see I have no idea). I browse some books that catch my attention… but at the end of the day, I still buy nothing. 😦
So what’s hindering me from buying? It’s actually quite simple.
I’m such a comics illiterate! Admittedly, I don’t know a thing about comics and most importantly, I don’t know which books to buy first!
All I really want is to know the story behind the movies I watch. Spiderman, Batman, Thor, Captain America, The Avengers etc… they all leave me curious after watching all those movies. This fascination made me aspire to know more.
I have this certain urge of needing to know every bit of information in order to understand things better, which is why I really want to buy comic books and I really want to start from the beginning.
I need a little help, though. If only someone would help me…….
May 6, 2012 § Leave a comment
Today I will bid bad vibes and stress goodbye because I think I deserve to be happy tomorrow (or in 30 minutes).
I will cry my heart out, shout at the top of my lungs, and do anything that would make the pain go away because I KNOW deserve to be happy tomorrow (or in 30 minutes).
Happy birthday, self. Smile because you deserve it.
April 30, 2012 Enter your password to view comments.
April 29, 2012 § Leave a comment
You’re answering a test.
You know what is being asked and you know how to accurately answer all the items.
Your mind refuses to give out the information that you need, and no matter how much you try to squeeze something out of your brain, nothing comes out.
You’ve told yourself a couple of times to try.
To try harder.
“You can do this,” you tell yourself.
Breathe in, breathe out.
You are very much capable of answering that test with ease. You know that.
And then suddenly, you feel frustrated.
You hear the ticking of the clock, echoing as loud as a drum in your ears.
20 minutes left.
You feel stupid.
You feel pressured.
You feel angered.
Your confidence starts to crumble into dust. Your mind starts to shut down on its own. You think that everything you believe in is complete and utter bullshit.
You then realize you failed. Not just the test.
The bell rings.
You failed yourself.
You failed at life.
What I felt while I was answering a very important Math long test.
I wrote that right after taking one of the most important exams in college. I really wanted to break down after all papers have been passed, but I didn’t want to do it in front of so many people, though I managed anyway by getting my phone and typing/writing what I felt right at that very moment.
Admittedly, I studied for the exam. I studied too hard, actually. I answered all odd-numbered items in the book, and 5 other sample long tests (2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010). I even timed myself while doing so. In addition to that, I studied a few minutes before taking the actual test. Consequently, those lead to my brain shutting down when I needed it the most. It stopped.. functioning. Like what I said, I tried so hard to squeeze something out of it. But nothing came out. I don’t claim to know everything, but I swear I knew how to answer all of the items during the test. But my brain refused to listen to my command. I can’t really put the blame on it since I was the one who overused it. But I guess I’ll just have to accept what happened.
I know that this doesn’t change the fact that I screwed up. And that at that moment I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I just felt so lost, so stupid. But then again, one thing’s for sure: Life. Goes. on. I just have to learn how to go with the flow. Everything happens for a reason anyway. Right?